Tangled in Thoughts

What are the things that I hate about myself? Um, that's a difficult one. The question is not that simple. If I start answering it, doesn't it mean I don't love myself completely? Isn't that harmful for me as a person? So, I am rephrasing it for the better. What are the things or traits that I have that I could change inorder to be a better version of myself? Now, that sounds much better! And clearly doesn't indicate any self-loathing. 1. I am increasingly getting aware of the fact that I can be a very distant person to those whom I love. I am also aware that this tendency is weird, if not strange. The closer I get to a person, the more I am comfortable ignoring the little things that tell them I love them. I am just bad at expressing love. Till I joined college, the thought of hugging people on feeling happy was unthinkable for me. But then, college and new friends happened. And now, I can hug people. (phew!) But I still remain aloof in many other situations. ...

Romance is a weird thing. You can never know whether you're doing it right or not. You can only fly where your heart takes you and hope for the best. And I've been flying for too long now, still hoping for the best. The best part of falling head over heels for someone is the sheer absurdity of it and the thrill it gives you. A part of you tells you you're being crazy here and the other says life is all about being crazy and trusting your instincts. To put it simply, it's like a Heart and Brain comic. Except it's all a you versus you that happens here. I have had plenty of such talks with myself and each time the rational me tries to convince the erratic me that the whole act is based on a minuscule of probability of him reciprocating it, my conviction grows stronger that I should not let go. Minuscule or not, there is a probability and that's all that I need! Why am I writing this now? One day if I should feel sad about this,  one day if I should be rejected...