Tangled in Thoughts

So often do I think on the lines of nihilism. I have always been intrigued by the purposelessness and insignificance of human lives. It seems very absurd to me that we as a race set such high store by ourselves by acting like the kings who reign over all living things on earth and yet simultaneously subscribe to the notion of an omnipotent superior being called God who commands ultimate submission from every human (I say human and not 'creature' because, let's face it, no other species is as complex as us to have ever felt the need to create God(s)). The more I think about it, the less sense it makes. We are just a speck of dust in the vastness of the observable universe. And yet, the supposed creator of all takes such interest in just our species? Doesn’t that sound exactly like a kid trying to prove with all his might why his teacher likes him more than others in his class even though he does not possess any remarkable qualities as compared to the others? The...

All around me is chaos. Themes of monochrome on my walls Contrast with the vibrant hues from the world beyond the window. Thoughts feel like clear water and a moment later They diffuse into thick grey smoke. Is this what they call chaos? Am I in a world of chaos or am I the chaos? Am I the contradiction or am I just in one? And all of a sudden, I’m in pitch black nothingness. And soon there is nothing I know but my disarrayed, dizzying thoughts. And they dance as if in a trance. How do I slow them? I try hard to control them, channel them, put them back in places. And the more I try, the more they get tangled And I drown in a raging dark sea, no more am I in nothingness.  Slowly I realize, the confusion around me is nothing but A reflection of my thoughts, my mind, of me. And sadly I become conscious of the chaos that is me. I am the chaos I see around me. Sigh.                      ...