Finding My Element In Chaos

All around me is chaos. Themes of monochrome on my walls

Contrast with the vibrant hues from the world beyond the window.

Thoughts feel like clear water and a moment later

They diffuse into thick grey smoke. Is this what they call chaos?

Am I in a world of chaos or am I the chaos?

Am I the contradiction or am I just in one?

And all of a sudden, I’m in pitch black nothingness.

And soon there is nothing I know but my disarrayed, dizzying thoughts.

And they dance as if in a trance. How do I slow them?

I try hard to control them, channel them, put them back in places.

And the more I try, the more they get tangled

And I drown in a raging dark sea, no more am I in nothingness.

Slowly I realize, the confusion around me is nothing but

A reflection of my thoughts, my mind, of me.

And sadly I become conscious of the chaos that is me.

I am the chaos I see around me. Sigh.

Tangled in Thoughts