Tangled in Thoughts

I kept cutting the things I scribbled Writing something was never so difficult I contemplated on things and even googled My pen moved across those words as I again cut! My mind searched for a topic For I was in a mood to write And being topicless felt ironic However I thought about something light I thought about love or lost hope "Love" automatically made me say 'Enrique!!' His love songs being my favourite among pop. I had to drop the topic away! I was still left without a theme "Friendship" struck me only then Theme song of 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' made me beam Friendship's been sung about so much by men. "What now?" I thought feeling bored Teenage, craziness, luck passion or school? "Help me choose one, Oh Lord!" I kept pondering for something cool! Hours and days passed without much hope.. I was left with nothing to write about I hunted for topics like a super-cop! I felt like letting my feelings out. So here I am, writing ...

Teardrops on my pillow Tell all my deepest miseries My broken heart with unease Tries not to bellow Why am I becoming so furious? I ask myself to get no answer My mind acts like a tap-dancer It is really fractious I have nobody to confide in The world looks upon me And merely says "you're so happy" But nobody knows what my life's been I'm tired of this solitary existence I've been pretending for so long Because I wanted to go along I have lost all my hope and sense It's absurd why I am so lonely When I have everyone else around me Your absence makes everything crazy Maybe that's what makes me unhappy How I wish you could see me through! How I wish you never walked out of my life... Fights paved way for that strife.. But I never wanted to lose you.. The monotony of days makes my life so blue Forlorn in this world so wide My tears are what I try to hide So I put on a smile and still wait for you..

എന്നുമെന്നും ഓര്‍മ്മിക്കാന്‍ ഒരായിരം കാര്യങ്ങള്‍ ഓര്‍ത്തോര്‍ത്തു ചിരിക്കാന്‍ എണ്ണമറ്റ തമാശകള്‍ പിന്നെയും പിന്നെയും വായിക്കാന്‍ എത്രയെത്ര സ്ക്രാപ്പുകള്‍ മെയിലുകള്‍ ഇനിയും ചിരിക്കാന്‍ മിണ്ടുവാന്‍ ഓര്‍ക്കുട്ടും g-talKഉം facebook-ഉം സൌഹൃദതണല്‍ വിരിയുന്ന നെറ്റിന്റെ ലോകം മാത്രം ചിരിച്ചുനില്‍ക്കുന്നോരാ വിദ്യാലയം സ്നേഹം പരത്തുന്ന കുഞ്ഞിളംകാറ്റ്‌ കളിയുടെ കുസൃതിയാം മൈതാനം ഇനി ഗൃഹാതുരത്ത്വം തുളുമ്പുമോര്‍മ്മകള്‍ കാലം കടന്നുപോകുമ്പോള്‍ ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ അതിമധുരമാകുമ്പോള്‍ ഞാന്‍ വീണ്ടും വരും എന്റെ വിദ്യാലയത്തിലേക്ക്‌ എന്നെ ചിരിപ്പിച്ച കൂട്ടുകാരെ എന്നും പ്രിയപ്പെട്ടവരേ ഞാന്‍ ഓര്‍ത്തുപോകുന്നു നമ്മുടെ ഭാവനാശകലങ്ങള്‍ Harryയും Danഉം മറ്റുപലരും നമ്മുടെ തലയില്‍ വിരിഞ്ഞതാം കലാവികൃതിയില്‍ നടനമാടിയതും അതോര്‍ത്ത് നാമെല്ലാം തോരാതെ ചിരിച്ചതും നനുത്ത മഴയായി ...ഇളംകാറ്റായി ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ എന്നെ തഴുകുന്നു ഓര്‍മ്മ തന്‍ തിരിനാളം അണയുമ്പോള്‍ ഞാനെന്ന മെഴുകുതിരി ഉരുകുന്നു എരിഞ്ഞു തീരുന്ന ജീവിതത്തില്‍ നിറഞ്ഞു ചിരിക്കാനീ ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ ഓര്‍മ്മകളാകാന്‍ കൂട്ടുകാരെ വീണ്ടും കണ്ടുമുട്ടിടാം നെറ്റിന്റെ തണവില്‍ സ്ക്രാപ്പായും മെയിലായും ടി...

Seconds, minutes, hours and days are passing Just as they should be, neither slow nor fast Even then I feel someone's been harassing Me since the recent past. Unable to understand the world around me I stand alone even in this crowd Gloom surrounds me like bees around honey Life's voice is now sarcastic and loud. Sands of time escape into the infinity Happiness of my life gets drained out Peace of mind is a lost symphony There is only despair to talk about. What has become of my life, I wonder! Trying to figure it out only makes me insane And now it is nothing but a blunder Ah! All my hopes and dreams are in vain! Won't anyone come take my hand? Won't anyone ever see the tears I cry? Set everything perfect with the wave of a wand? Won't such a person ever cross by? I want my happy life back... I need my friends and fun to cheer me up Because life's gifting me a setback Give me a hug, a smile or a simple "dude..'sup?" ...

A person who has always inspired me? "Yep! My Dad!" the answer would be. I understand the things he always says To come up in life discovering your ways. Every time I see my father's face A feeling of respect forms in my heart's base. Feelings of love and gratitude formed in me Clearly difficult to put in words, they would be. And yet how is he an inspiration? I will answer with a great mark of exclamation. A person who has always influenced me? "Yep! My Dad", again the answer would be. The care and love I could find Leaving his anger behind... When his lips curled into a smile I stared at it for a while. Always he has been a motivation Those times when I was in desperation. The kindness, I felt in him and hence My father means to me a spark of confidence.